During a job search, you are met with rejection over and over. And now, with additional layoffs over the past 12 months, you’re faced with additional intense competition.
After sending out dozens of resumes, being repeatedly ghosted, and not being called back for additional interviews, it becomes extremely difficult to remain positive.
No one likes to be rejected. It stings when they do not call you for an interview, or they don’t invite you to the next round, or they don’t give you the job offer – or when they ghost you completely.
It becomes challenging not to let these setbacks become a major career roadblock.
How do we deal with this reality and still move forward in our job search?
The Mind Game
We're wired to want to know why
Our brains want to know why. And, because we don’t get feedback from our job applications or from our interviews, we tend to think it’s us. We decide that something is wrong with us because then our brain can know why.
This is false perceptions. And, we need to tell our brain that it’s just not so. (see mantras below)
Our brains want to know why - reality is we may never know why, but our brain doesn’t accept that and then convinces us there’s something wrong with us.
Our brains remember negative events better than the positive ones.
Unfortunately, our brains are hardwired to pay more attention to negative than positive things. I’ve heard it takes 10 positive events to make up for 1 negative event. We remember rejection and negative emotions easier than the positive experiences.
Our brains are hardwired to pay more attention to negative events than the positive ones
Let’s look deeper at what is happening in the job market today.
Practical Steps
Track the small wins.
Because it’s so easy for us to remember the negative events, it’s paramount to track the small wins along the way.
As a society we focus on the future, and tend not to look back and see how far we have come.
I read an interesting story about the world champion backwards runner. Really! It’s a thing! At the end of the article, the runner mentioned how running backwards lets him see how far we’ve come and how as a society we tend not to do that. We are a forwards-looking society. As a job seeker, it helps to look backwards sometimes.
Take time to reflect. Write down the small wins (and the big wins!). Keep it posted near your job search area so you can constantly be reminded how far you’ve come.
To take it a step farther, consider your biggest wins over your lifetime. What were they? What are the details around it? Develop a story around your biggest wins. Write it down. Remind yourself of these stories to keep you moving forward when the going gets tough.
- actively focus on your wins - create a list of ‘bragging rights’ - list your accomplishments and contributions -develop three key stories about times when you overcame obstacles in the past
Allow yourself to feel sad — then move on
It’s important to let yourself process the emotions of being disappointed. You don’t want to bury them – that is not healthy. Instead, let yourself feel sad. One friend mentioned giving herself an hour to process the news (good or bad), then move on. Do what you need to do to effectively process the emotions so you can move on in a healthy way.
Another way to combat the rejection is to spend time doing something you enjoy, or something you are good at. These types of activities build your confidence and give you the freedom to just be yourself. Moments of building confidence and assurance in yourself are invaluable in your job search.
tl;dr;
- allow yourself to feel disappointed
- give yourself an hour to feel the emotions
- journal your thoughts, go for a run, do something completely different than job searching
- do an activity you are good at
Build a support group
I recently asked my audience what they do to help build resiliency in their job search. Talking with others in a similar situation was the most popular response. If you have friends, or peers from your coursework or your bootcamp, team up with them. Scheduled a regular time to get together to share the ups and downs. Share your resumes and cover letters. Support one another.
Besides the support group, also find 1 or 2 individuals with whom you can really share your feelings in a confidential setting. Be selective in who you choose. It’s important to be able to freely express your frustration and highlights of your job search. Sometimes, it’s best if this isn’t necessarily done with others who are also job seekers and with someone who might eventually be in a position to evaluate your candidacy. Choose someone who knows you well enough to be a listening ear and fully support you.
TL;DR;
- find a support group of 2-4 other individuals who are also job seekers to share the journey and support one another
- find 1-2 individuals you can confidently share with
Have a strategy plan in place
A job search is so much more than sending out resumes. On top of writing a relevant customized resume, you need a strong portfolio, an attraction-getting LinkedIn profile, and a consistent attempt to make connections with others.
Networking with others is key. Making connections and having conversations with others on LinkedIn, with individuals from your past experience, with peers pursuing a new career in UX/UI, and with mentors and teachers in the UX/UI arena.
It’s a lot of activity. Set aside time each week or every two weeks or each month (whatever works for your schedule) for these various types of activities.
TL;DR;
The job search is more than sending out resumes. Remember to schedule for:
- making connections
- having conversations with peers, leaders, and recruiters
- self-care
- professional development (practicing/advancing your skills/completing real-world projects)
- updating your portfolio
- attending webinars/training/workshops/sprints (1-2/month)
- search job boards
- send out job applications (includes customizing resume and cover letter)
Use the rejection as an opportunity to stay in touch
If you’re not ghosted – and there is real interaction between you and a company – use the rejection as a way to stay in contact. Whether it’s by phone call, text, or email – respond to the rejection. Thank them for their time. Let them know you are still interested in a position with the company.
Write down your own mantras and repeat them regularly
This might sound rather woo-woo, but it’s necessary in today’s job market. Plus, this can develop into a powerful habit that will benefit not only your career, but other areas of your life as well.
Write down 4-6 powerful statements that keep you inspired and motivated to move forward. These are statements about yourself and are for you alone.
Here are some examples:
- I am capable of success
- I do not have to be perfect to get a job
- I have a valuable skill set
- I deserve better than what I had before
Your turn
Don’t let rejection become a major stumbling block to your career! Instead, use it to build up your resiliency.
The resiliency you built will only aid you on the job where you will continue to get feedback on your work.
Use your job search to grow.